"This is why you can’t trust women! They’re so good at makeup and wear it to fool guys into thinking they’re hot!"
shit. girls he’s on to us *washes off makeup to reveal lizard face and climbs up a wall* we will return with a new disguise. soon the power of earthly men will fall
every gamer’s reaction upon finding a blood-covered room: well that’s not good
I am pretty sure that is not exclusive just to gamers.
christmas is so much worse as you get older it’s like “what do you want this year?” “a sense of purpose”
"a career" "financial security" "a sex life" "tuition for grad school" "alcohol" "a nap" "socks would be nice"
Romeo and Juliet is not a love story it’s a cautionary tale about how everything would be better if you would just chill the fuck out
‘Everything would be better if you would just chill the fuck out’ - every play ever written by Shakespeare
“Yo, Hamlet. Chill the fuck out about your dad.”
“Yo, King Lear. Chill the fuck out about your daughters.”
“Yo, Othello. Chill the fuck out about your wife.”